She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
