I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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