I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
