Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm too high and old for this...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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