She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
