I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
