Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
