Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
