i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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