Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You are a genius and a whore.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
