I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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