What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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