so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
