i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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