the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
