omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need to calm my uterus...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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