dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
