there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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