..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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