no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
