Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Randomize
