Soap is not a condiment
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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