When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
