i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize