yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
