At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
