Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
