I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
