Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
