Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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