I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
