No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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