What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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