I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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