I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
