this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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