Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
