She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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