never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
