Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
