its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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