I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
