i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
