Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
