Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
