Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
