he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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