can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
