WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
