Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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