So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
